


alone

by reddysteddy



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Depression, Exhaustion, Gen, I Don't Even Know, Isolation, Loneliness, Mental Health Issues, Tags Are Hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-07
Updated: 2020-12-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27938307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddysteddy/pseuds/reddysteddy
Summary: you come home. you are alone.
Kudos: 5





	alone

you walk up to the door of your apartment. the door creaks open, in much need of oiling. the sound it makes as you step into the room seems to match your mood a little too well. 

you drop your bag on the couch that is already too piled high with junk to be usable as a seat. you stare at your dull reflection in the tv screen. most days you would turn it on as soon as you got home just for something to break up the silence. today you don’t even bother. 

you lay your arm against the dusty surface of the side table. old dishes shift as you touch them, the food on them so old that they no longer smell. or maybe you had just grown used to the smell of things that are old and dirty.

you stand up and your body moves into the kitchen. there are boxes and cans of unopened food sitting in the cabinets and on the counter. you tell yourself that they need to be eaten, but head towards the nearly empty package of bread atop the rarely used stove. maybe some of the other food will just sit in your house until it expires. you know that some of it already has. 

you do not feel the bread nor taste it as it digests in your body. the only part of your meal that you can remember is chewing with your mouth. even that feels like a half memory that may have been made up. 

you sit at the dining room table. this one is less cluttered than the one in the living room, but you still do not think it is clean. the emptiness of its surface makes something inside of you ache. or maybe not that, but the largeness of its size. it was made for multiple people to sit at at once, for talking and sharing meals and being around people. 

many chairs surround it. you consider selling them. it is not like anyone ever used them. despite their worthlessness you still kept them available, not wanting them to end up in the same state as your couch.

you walk past your fridge holding enough food for a whole family to store their meals. you drift into the shower and turn on the water, not even bothering to take off your clothes. black mold creeps up the walls and covers most of the bottom. just thinking about cleaning it made you want to go to bed. you knew that you would be more tempted to keep the place clean and might not have even gotten to this state in the first place if you shared it with someone. but it fell into disrepair because why should you do anything nice for just yourself.

you let the water hit your face until it turns hot. you stand in the warmth, letting it wash over you. it almost felt like touching a person, if memory served right. 

you brush your hand across the shower knob and collapse on your bed. your clothes are cold and not comfortable, but you do not change them. 

clouds cover the moon that night, letting nothing but darkness seep through your window. no rain either, at least none that can be heard from your room. 

you secretly wish the neighbors would be a little loud. just so you can have some noise. just so you don’t have to feel so alone.

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by this picture. originally posted by decayedvignettes on tumblr.
> 
> https://64.media.tumblr.com/769928af3e0999b51df427f11e49e577/daa8d4040404791c-54/s1280x1920/afaf1322583ae1b0d0514d33ab97ba8dbe11e028.jpg


End file.
